Please Leave Them Alone

Last week I talked about a number of upcoming movies based on comics that have the potential to be good. But now, I want to discuss a different, much more important, subject. Comics that should never be movies.

There are some experiences that just wouldn’t translate from one medium to the other, and I personally don’t want to see some of the greatest comics ever ruined with terrible film adaptations.

So, without further ado, here are the top three comics that should never, under any circumstances, be touched by Hollywood.

3. The Walking Dead

There is actually some potential for a great film, or films, to come out of Tony Moore’s zombie epic, but it would most likely be a failure for two main reasons.

First, there are already enough zombie movies. Even if The Walking Dead came out and was fantastic, the majority of people would just see it as another zombie movie that doesn’t have either George A. Romero or the number 28 in the title. But I also think that Hollywood would miss the point of the series.

Yes, it is set in a world when the undead are real and humans are fighting for survival, but in the end, it’s really about the people and their relationships with one another. And I don’t know how well that could be portrayed in a two hour movie.

2. Preacher

There are so many great things about Preacher that could potentially be ruined if it made the leap to the big screen. First off, casting. I’m having a hard time thinking of any actor who would make a good Jesse Custer. Or Cassidy. Or Herr Star for that matter.

Also, unless it was given to a very brave director, I’m 100% sure that the books content would be toned down.

A big part of Preacher’s appeal lies in the way it contrasts extreme violence and sex with religious imagery. It just wouldn’t be the same without it. Plus, what would the “word of God” actually sound like?

1. The Watchmen

Even if Alan Moore’s work didn’t have such a poor track record when it comes to film adaptations, I’d still be worried for The Watchmen.

Possibly the greatest work the medium has ever seen, The Watchmen uses the creative strengths that comic books have to offer, and utilizes them in a way that could not be reproduced on screen. And, like The Walking Dead, I would be very cautious of Hollywood missing the point.

The Watchmen is not a super-hero story in the typical sense, but instead the story of how people live the life of a super-hero. All this being said, I thought Hellboy would make a terrible movie and was very wrong, so you never know.

But I was very, very right about Iron Man.