We’ve already covered what to do in the case of a zombie outbreak, and how to deal with the inevitable invention of time travel. But now it’s time to look at a much more serious subject. Say you wake up one morning and you can fly. Or have super strength. Or can read minds. What do you do? Super-powers are a tricky thing, and are most certainly difficult to get used to. Seriously, I just can’t seem to figure out this whole adamantium claw thing I’ve got going on. Why won’t they retract? It really makes typing difficult. So before you start accidentally ripping of car doors or electrocuting your friends and family, check out our guide so you can get a handle on your newly realized abilities.

Learning what to do

The best way to come to grips with something as important as, say, the ability to read people’s minds, is to share the experience. In leu of finding actual super-powered compatriots, the first season of Heroes will have to do. The show features a number of different, average people from all walks of life. The twist is, each coming to grips with a different super power, ranging from shape shifting time travel. Watching as each of these people struggles to understand and control their abilities should be just the thing for the burgeoning super-hero.

Learning how to do it

Now that you know how to deal with your powers, it’s time to train. As a super-powered being, it is important that you use your new found abilities for the good of humanity. And to that end, you are going to need some practice. And since doing this out in the real world may result in a number of, how shall we say it, deaths, you’ll have to try something else. One of the best ways to do this is to jump into the massively multiplayer online game City of Heroes. Using the games extensive character creation tools, you can recreate your new self, and pit this persona up against all kinds of enemies. And, heaven forbid, you want to go over to the dark side, a City of Villains version is available as well.

Preparing for the future

It’s understandable that you will be pleased that you have your new powers under control, but the future is not so rosy my friend. The likes of Watchmen, Marvel Civil War, and The Incredibles all depict a future in which your kind will not be accepted. Government regulations may be put in place to regulate your abilities for the supposed protection of the “normal” human beings. The only way to combat this is to pre-empt it, so read the aforementioned books and prepare yourself for what you will be up against.

What are you fighting for?

Just going around beating up regular old bad guys will eventually get tiresome, so once you’re ready for the real (super-hero) world, you’ll need to get yourself an arch-nemesis. Typically this should be someone who is an even match with yourself, that way the two of you can do battle for years to come. It’s no fun fighting someone weaker then yourself, and even less fun if you’re always losing. It’s even better if you have some sort of personal connection with your foe, like Magneto and Professor X or Galactus and the Silver Surfer.

But while being a super-hero takes a lot of work, it is also important to remember to have fun. After all, what good are super powers if you can’t show off? So go ahead, pick up that car to impress the girl you like. Teleport to work instead of getting stuck in traffic. Or, if you really want to have some fun, turn on the invisibility while riding a bike. Trust me, it really freaks people out.

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Andrew Webster is a freelance writer based in Toronto who covers comics, movies, videogames, and anything else that will rot out your brain. Check out his personal site to read more of his incoherent ramblings.

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