As I sit here drinking a Slurpee in a limited edition Iron Man cup complete with detachable figurine, I can’t help but think that this year might actually be a good year for movies based on comics. And this is coming from someone who has hated nearly every attempt that Hollywood has made in bringing my favorite characters off the page and on to the big screen. But this year seems different. There are four films due to hit theaters, and going against tradition, I feel as though all of them have, at the very least, a passing chance of being good.

Iron Man - I’m still not convinced that combining Iron Man and the war in Afghanistan is the best idea ever, but damn does that suit look awesome. I’ve never been a particularly big fan of Iron Man, but this is looking like one of the best Marvel films yet, which isn’t saying all that much. But still, in addition to the special effects (which, as Spidey 3 taught us, can not save a bad movie) I’m also looking forward to Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark. He seems perfectly suited to play the cocky billionaire, but for some reason that I can’t quite put my finger on, watching the trailer gives me terrible Ghost Rider/Nicholas Cage flashbacks. Let’s hope that my gut feeling is way off this time.

The Incredible Hulk - Yes, yes, we all know what an unmitigated disaster the first Hulk movie was, and that’s why I was so happy to hear that this is not a sequel, but instead a second attempt at bringing the green behemoth to the big screen. I was even happier when I learned that Mr. Edward Norton would be playing the role of Dr. Bruce Banner, because, well, he’s a pretty good actor and stuff. In addition to the new acting talent, The Incredible Hulk also looks to have stepped things up in the special effects department. While the 2003 adaptation featured a cameo appearance by Shrek, the new movie has a much more convincing looking Hulk leaping about. I’m not to sure about the choice of villain though, who looks like a zombified version of The Hulk (although Wikipedia tells me that it is actually The Abomination).

Hellboy II: The Golden Army - The first Hellboy movie did a great job of re-imagining everyones favourite paranormal investigator’s origin story, and it looks like the sequel is going to take things to the next level. The character designs look as though they came straight of director Guillermo del Toro’s last film, Pan’s Labyrinth, which should be worth the price of admission alone. The story this time around will focus on a different side of the Hellboy universe: instead of fighting occult obsessed Nazis, this time Hellboy will take on beings usually confined to fairy tales and folklore. Apparently, there is a crazy elf with some sort of super powered weapon, who wants to take back the world from humans. It sounds a little bit out there, but if anyone can pull it off, it’ll be Del Toro and Mike Mignola.

The Dark Knight - 2005’s Batman Begins did an outstanding job of bringing the Caped Crusader back to his dark roots and making him relevant again. And with that groundwork laid down, it looks as though The Dark Knight will continue in the same vain. This movie will be another re-imagining, this time looking at the origins of The Joker. And while Jack Nicholson’s classic 1989 performance set an impossibly high bar for the character, from what I’ve seen, the late Heath Ledger looks up to the task. His twisted take on the character should add the one ingredient the first film was missing: a really good villain. This might be the one I’m looking forward to the most.
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Please Leave Them Alone

Last week I talked about a number of upcoming movies based on comics that have the potential to be good. But now, I want to discuss a different, much more important, subject. Comics that should never be movies.

There are some experiences that just wouldn’t translate from one medium to the other, and I personally don’t want to see some of the greatest comics ever ruined with terrible film adaptations.

So, without further ado, here are the top three comics that should never, under any circumstances, be touched by Hollywood.

3. The Walking Dead

There is actually some potential for a great film, or films, to come out of Tony Moore’s zombie epic, but it would most likely be a failure for two main reasons.

First, there are already enough zombie movies. Even if The Walking Dead came out and was fantastic, the majority of people would just see it as another zombie movie that doesn’t have either George A. Romero or the number 28 in the title. But I also think that Hollywood would miss the point of the series.

Yes, it is set in a world when the undead are real and humans are fighting for survival, but in the end, it’s really about the people and their relationships with one another. And I don’t know how well that could be portrayed in a two hour movie.

2. Preacher

There are so many great things about Preacher that could potentially be ruined if it made the leap to the big screen. First off, casting. I’m having a hard time thinking of any actor who would make a good Jesse Custer. Or Cassidy. Or Herr Star for that matter.

Also, unless it was given to a very brave director, I’m 100% sure that the books content would be toned down.

A big part of Preacher’s appeal lies in the way it contrasts extreme violence and sex with religious imagery. It just wouldn’t be the same without it. Plus, what would the “word of God” actually sound like?

1. The Watchmen

Even if Alan Moore’s work didn’t have such a poor track record when it comes to film adaptations, I’d still be worried for The Watchmen.

Possibly the greatest work the medium has ever seen, The Watchmen uses the creative strengths that comic books have to offer, and utilizes them in a way that could not be reproduced on screen. And, like The Walking Dead, I would be very cautious of Hollywood missing the point.

The Watchmen is not a super-hero story in the typical sense, but instead the story of how people live the life of a super-hero. All this being said, I thought Hellboy would make a terrible movie and was very wrong, so you never know.

But I was very, very right about Iron Man.

Ever wonder what your favorite super-heroes like to do to kick-back and relax? Well so did we, so we caught up with a couple of the biggest names in the crime-fighting industry to find out what they like to play, read, watch, and listen to.

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Today is a big day, as the creators of the internet’s biggest webcomic — which just so happens to be about videogames — are releasing their own game based in the world of Penny Arcade.



Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness, Episode One (longest title ever!) is now available to download via Greenhouse for Windows, Mac, and Linux users, and via Xbox Live Arcade for 360 gamers, for US$19.95 or 1600 Microsoft points.



Set in a Victorian, steam-punk version of the PA universe, in a town called New Arcadia, OTRSPOD (longest acronym ever!) lets players create there own character and play alongside Gabe and Tycho as they solve mysteries through their Startling Developments detective agency. The game is a mash-up of different genres, blending traditional turn-based role-playing game elements (think Final Fantasy, Dragon Quest), with classic point-and-click adventure games (think the Sam & Max and Monkey Island series’).



The best part of the game — of course, aside from the amazing art of Mike Krahulik and ingenius writing of Jerry Holkins — is the Episode One at the end of the title. This is just the first in a series of episodic games that will be released periodically throughout the year, each continuing the story of the Startling Developments detective agency. What traditional games are to films, these games are to television.



If you want to get a primer as to what Penny Arcade Adventures is like, check out the Greenhouse site, which features a four-page comic set in the universe as well as a trailer for the game. Meanwhile, I’m going to get back to unraveling the mystery of the terrifying Fruit Fucker.

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As a frequent aficionado of all things geeky --videogames, comics, cartoons, etc.-- one would think that I would have developed a strong outer shell to defend myself from the embarrassment that can often be felt by those with interests such as mine. And for the most part I have. I have a small collection of action figures on display in my office, my videogame collection sits proudly beside my DVD's, and several shelves of my library are devoted purely to graphic novels. They are nothing to be ashamed of.

But for all my pride in the things I love --I constantly feel a strong desire to get my friends and family to watch Firefly, or read The Watchmen, or just come over and play a good long round of Boom Blox-- there is still one thing that I'm slightly embarassed about. I'm not sure why I'm so ashamed, just as I'm not sure why I'm sharing this deep dark secret with all of you. But, I suppose I should just come out with it all ready: I read Star Wars novels.

There I said it. Whew, it's good to get that off my chest. As a writer who strives for literary excellence, the fact that I absolutely love these pulpy novelizations and extensions of the Star Wars universe is seemingly against my nature. But then again, as someone who has watched all of the films several times and has a Boba Fett action figure staring at him as he types this, it seems quite natural. I guess my guilty pleasure stems from the clashing of these two disparate side of my personality.

It does get worse, however. In addition to the more then a dozen Star Wars novels I've enjoyed, I've also read several Hellboy novels, which I love just as much. But still, it gets even worse. In anticipation of the release of the epic role-playing videogame Mass Effect, I read the prequel novel that set the stage for the games expansive universe. That could be considered rock bottom.

I find that every time I read one of these books, as much as I enjoy it, my English background forces me to go and read some Oscar Wilde or George Orwell to compensate. I feel somewhat dirty. But acceptance is the first step towards recovery, and so by writing this I guess I'm coming to grips with my problem. But really, it's not a problem, is it? It's not like I read Star Trek novels, now those would be truly embarrassing. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to continue to read about the origins of Darth Bane.

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I’ve already expressed to all of you my general dislike of movies based on comic books, but I have to admit that I feel even more trepidation when things are in the reverse direction.
Licensed comic books based on popular movies, games or television shows are almost universally terrible–I mean just look at the World of Warcraft books. There are, of course, a few notable exceptions. And scanning through the list of titles I plan on picking up over the next few months, I realized that there actually happens to be two of these such books that I am very excited about.

Serenity Volume 2: Better Days - Despite the amazingly satisfying ending to the film Serenity, the abrupt cancellation to the TV show that is was based on, Firefly, still left all kinds of unanswered questions for fans. Thankfully, series creator Joss Whedon is a die-hard comic book fan and so decided to continue the story through that medium instead.
The first volume of these comics, Those Left Behind, did a good job of filling in the gaps between the show and the film, and Better Days looks to continue to fill out the backstory of the 9 residents of the starship Serenity. But what’s even more exciting is the planned third volume, A Shepherd’s Tale, which should finally reveal once and for all who Shepherd Book really is.

Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney: Official Casebook Vol. 1 - This title is quite a rarity. Not only is it a licensed comic that I am excited about–being based on Capcom’s cult-hit legal drama Ace Attorney adventure game series–it is also a manga.
Despite my best efforts, I have never fully embraced Japanese comics the way I have more traditional ones, but that has not dampened my excitement for this book one bit. Since the first game came out back in 2005, I have eagerly anticipated each of is subsequent sequels, going so far as to import the third game from Japan in order to play it a few weeks early. And since a great deal of the Ace Attorney gameplay involves lots and lots of reading (it falls squarely in the ‘visual novel’ genre) it seems like the perfect candidate for a comic book spin-off. The book will feature a number of returning characters, including the titular Phoenix, Mia and Maya Fay, and the mysterious Godot. And since the latest entry in the game series focused on a new protagonist, Apollo Justice (though Phoenix had his fair share of screen time as well), it looks like this will be my last opportunity to spend time with the characters I’ve grown to love over the past three years.

One of the most important characteristics for most super-heroes is their secret identities. As Watchmen and The Incredibles have shown us, super-heroes just can’t live normal lives. And the most common way of hiding these secret identities is with a costume. And like everything in life, these costumes vary in degrees of awesomeness. Today I’ve compiled a list of what are, without a doubt (in my mind at least), the best three outfits ever donned by a crime-fighter (or villain).

Iron Man - Unique among heroes because he has no super powers, Tony Stark more than makes up for his deficiencies with the most technically advanced suit currently on the billion dollar market. He can fly, is crazy strong, and–as demonstrated in the recent Iron Man movie–has a kick-ass navigation system. It also happens to be just about the coolest looking thing you could ever wear. Drawbacks? Well, as the movie also showed us, it can be quite ungainly to put on. Plus, you have to have a hole in your chest to put the batteries in.

Venom & Carnage - These two get bonus points for having suits that are actually alive. The alien symbiotes that attached themselves to Cletus Kasady and Eddie Brock created two of Spider-Man’s greatest adversaries. But who has the better suit? Venom gets points for being the first, but loses them all after being turned into a whiny emo baby in Spider-Man 3. Carnage’s suit, on the other hand, is much more powerful–allowing him to transform his hands into dangerous weapons, among other things–, albeit not as loyal. It is constantly seeking the strongest possible host, at one point even bonding with the already super-powered Silver Surfer to create the incredibly awesome Cosmic Carnage. So it’s a toss-up, loyalty versus power.

Johann Kraus - One of the lesser known members of the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense, Johann Kraus is more dependent on his suit then most heroes. In fact, he is his suit. Kraus is nothing more then a spirit, his body having been incinerated years ago. He is able to maintain a physical form by housing his ectoplasmic spirit in a containment suit. And while his suit doesn’t give him any kind of super powers like the others on the list, it does keep him alive, and that’s pretty cool.

Andrew Webster is a freelance writer based in Toronto who covers comics, movies, videogames, and anything else that will rot out your brain. Check out his personal site to read more of his incoherent ramblings.

Technology moves at an amazing pace. During my relatively short time on this planet, I’ve seen it firsthand. From space travel to medicine to high-definition movies, it’s all pretty astounding. But as comics and movies have shown us, we still have a long way to go. Super powered beings also happen to have some super powered imaginations, and this has resulted in some of the coolest and craziest inventions of all time. Below is a list of just a few of my favorites. Scientists and inventors take notes, and get this stuff made already.

UV Grenade - Everyone knows that killing vampires is no easy task. They are strong, fast, quiet, and impervious to most human weapons. Of course they have a few weaknesses, like garlic, silver, a stake through the heart, and sunlight. But what do you do when a new, super-powered strain of vampires starts terrorizing the planet and they are immune to everything except sunlight? Well, the answer is quite simple. In Blade II, the titular hero’s mentor Whistler was able to create a grenade that when detonated, creates a giant flash of ultra violet light. This weapon turns out to be the perfect tool for warding off the Reaper infestation.

The Weapons of The Machine Girl - Japanese horror/action movie The Machine Girl starts out simple enough. In order to avenge the death of her family at the hands of the Yakuza, a young girl replaces her missing left arm with a giant machine gun and goes on a murderous rampage. But gun-arms are way to common to make this list. What puts The Machine Girl up there with the best are two of the greatest weapons ever devised: the flying guillotine and drill bra. Both are exactly what there names imply. The flying guillotine is able to remove human heads with the added bonus of portability, while the drill bra brutally punishes those who try and get too close of a look.

Adamantium - every time I break one of my Hatori Hanzo swords, I wish that adamantium was real. The fictional metal is essentially unbreakable, making it perfect for coating your skeleton or developing a set of killer claws. It’s most well known for doing just that to everyone’s favortie X-Man, Wolverine. Plus, for would be samurai’s, it could save a lot of money otherwise used on shattered swords.

Andrew Webster is a freelance writer based in Toronto who coverscomics, movies, videogames, and anything else that will rot outyour brain. Check out his personal site to read more of his incoherent ramblings.

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Any self-respecting comic book fan also loves animation, an anyone who loves animation knows the genius that is Pixar. Thus, if you are reading this, chances are pretty good that you are as excited as I am for this friday, which will see the theatrical release of Wall-E. The film has a lot going for it, but if, for some odd reason, you don’t want to see it, I’m here to tell you why you should in my typical list format.

Ben Burtt - One of the more unique aspects of Wall-E is that it will have very little dialogue. In fact, the main character doesn’t speak at all. Normally, this would make me more then a little worried. And I was, until I learned who was doing the sound design for the movie: Ben Burtt. Now you may be asking yourself, who is this? Well, Burtt is a legendary sound designer who has created some of the most recognizable sound effects in the history of cinema. Every time you make a ‘thrum’ noise, pretending to swing a lightsaber, Burtt made that. That heavy breathing sound you make when doing your Darth Vader impression, also Burtt. And, the most important part in regards to Wall-E, he was the man responsible for all those beeps and bloops that made R2-D2 such an endearing character. And while it took a total of 800 different sounds to bring R2 to life, Wall-E will use more than 2, 500. Sounds good to me.

The Tone - We all love sci-fi, and what’s great about Wall-E is that it is a fresh take on the genre. As a story about the last robot on Earth who falls in love with a satellite, the tone of Wall-E is decidedly whimsical. But, as it is also a CG animated Pixar movie, it will also look all kinds of awesome. So, really, you get the best of both worlds. A light-hearted cartoon with a healthy dose of sci-fi awesomeness.

It’s Pixar! - Come on now. Finding Nemo. Monsters Inc. The Incredibles. Toy Story. When has Pixar ever let you down? Ok, there was Cars, but even that was ok. Aside from that little snag, the good folks at Pixar have always pulled through, and, from I’ve seen, Wall-E looks to be up with their best. Besides, any film that can be described as ‘R2 D2 the movie’ by its director is all right with me. So go watch it all ready!

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Buying stuff is hard. We all have a limited amount of money, but a seemingly infinite amount of things to spend it on.So while I normally spend my time here creating wacky lists of the best super-hero costumes, or interviewing crime fighters about their personal lives, today I’d like to do something different. Over the past few weeks I’ve been absolutely flooded with books, games, and movies that are full of awesome, and I’d like to share a few of the best with you all in order to help steer your future purchasing decisions in the right direction.

Hellboy Vol.8: Darkness Calls

Ok, this one came out a while ago, May to be exact, but it should still be checked out by all. This collected volume finds Hellboy finally returning from his long oceanic journey, only to be dragged away by a group of vicious witches, who deliver him into the clutches of the vengeful Baba Yaga. The stories in this book draw heavily from Russian folklore, and prove that Mike Mignola did the right thing when he decided to focus solely on writing the Hellboy books from now on.

Penny Arcade Vol.5: The Case of the Mummy’s Gold

We here at Shox love Penny Arcade, so when a new PA book comes out it is definitely a time to celebrate. This fifth volume collects all of the strips posted by the dynamic duo in 2004, and puts them in an easy-to-read book form. In addition to the aforementioned comics, the collection also features a number of hilarious, if odd bonus pages, as well as a wonderful introduction by the king of the nerds, Wil Wheaton.

Etrian Odyssey II: Heroes of Lagaard

Fans of long, time-consuming, and complicated old-school flavored role-playing games are in for a treat with this game. The second Etrian Odyssey builds on the foundation laid by its predecessor–which included a terrifying difficulty level, classic first-person perspective, and even the ability to draw your own maps–by adding new classes, abilities, and levels to challenge gamers. There is even a treat for those select, brave few who were able to complete the first game. Sadly, I am not yet among them.

Final Fantasy Tactics A2: Grimoire of the Rift

If you’re looking for a different kind of addicting RPG, look no further then FFTA2. A strategy game with role-playing elements, this game allows players to build up a dream team of warriors by featuring an incredibly deep class system, which allows for a great deal of customization. These clans of warriors can then be used in epic, turn-based strategic battles, where they will fight against all kinds of dangerous monsters. Veteran players looking for an even greater challenge can check out the new hard difficulty, which will tax your mind as well as your thumbs.

The Machine Girl

Ah, Japanese horror, how I love thee. The Machine Girl follows the Tokyo Shock tradition of over the top, anime-like violence, but adds its own unique twist. The titular machine girl has a heavy duty machine gun strapped where her left arm once was, and has to use it to get revenge on the Yakuza clan that killed her family. Unfortunately for her (but fortunately for us), her enemies use equally unique and deadly weapons, including a flying guillotine and a drill bra. Yes, a drill bra.

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