The Big Honkin’ Demon appears courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment’s Diablo II. I know, I know, it’s an old game, but I thoroughly enjoyed playing it.
The Big Honkin’ Demon appears courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment’s Diablo II. I know, I know, it’s an old game, but I thoroughly enjoyed playing it.
(0 votes, average: 0 out of 5, rated) 
I have to admit that I had high hopes about the sequel to the first Hellboy film. The series was moving into the much more interesting mythological areas of the HB universe, and director Guillermo Del Toro was going to be building upon his incredible creature creation skills from Pan’s Labyrinth. And while it’s far from a bad film, I couldn’t help but feel a tinge of disappointment as I walked out of the movie theater.
With HB’s origin story now out of the way thanks to the first film, The Golden Army gets to the action quickly. Despite a truce made between humans and fantasy beings a long time ago, Nuada, Prince of the Elves, has decided to take it upon himself to free his kind, who have been relegated to living below ground. But, of course, Hellboy and the rest of the B.P.R.D aren’t too happy about that, and thus the conflict ensues.
Now let’s get this out of the way first: the film looks incredible. There are a plethora of different, unique, and disturbing creatures to behold, ranging from flesh-eating fairies to a massive Forest God and everything in between. The sheer number of creatures is staggering, but even more so is the level of creativity on display. Del Toro has upped his game since Pan’s Labyrinth, creating a universe that is as magical as it is terrifying.
The film also introduces a new character from the Dark Horse comic books, and one of my personal favorites, Johann Krauss. As a containment suit filled with the ectoplasmic spirit of a dead spirit medium, Krauss fits in nicely with the rest of the gang. From the beginning, despite his frequent confrontations with HB, Krauss is a likable and funny character, thanks in no small part to Seth Mcfarlane’s (Family Guy, American Dad) brilliant voice work. Krauss even takes place in what has to be the best unconventional fight sequence since we first witnessed Yoda pick up a lightsaber (spoiler: he kicks Hellboy’s ass!).
The rest of the B.P.R.D meanwhile, are dealing with some relationship issues. HB and Liz Sherman have now moved up to the always fighting stage of their relationship, while Abe Sapien has developed a crush on Nuada’s sister, one that is clearly doomed from the start. These relationships create some of the more flat and out of place sequences in the film, including an embarrassing scene in which HB and Abe get comicaly drunk, only sans the humor.
The scenes aren’t the only thing that keep the film from being great, however. Despite the constant visual spectacle Del Toro has been able to create, the narrative is never able to live up to that same level of excellence. Nuada is a minor threat at best, and nowhere near as interesting of a villain as Rasputin was, eliminating any sense of desperation or peril that may have existed. That’s what is most disappointing about Hellboy II. It is a very good movie, it’s just not the great one I was hoping for.
(0 votes, average: 0 out of 5, rated) The internet is great for many things. It allows us to communicate easily with friends and family, access information from around the world quickly, and purchase Japanese Sega Saturn games for a reasonable price. But really, what the internet is best for, is wasting time. And I can prove it. Chances are you are reading this while you are at work, or at school, or while putting off doing work for either. So, to aid in your procrastination, here is a list at some of the best diversions the internet has to offer. And if this article gets posted late, you know who is to blame.
I’ve gushed about Penny Arcade quite a few times, so it probably goes without saying that it is my favorite comic strip around. But really, what makes it so great? Well, besides being so damn funny. What I love most about the strip is that you don’t have to know what they are talking about for the comic to be funny. Most of the time. Sure, they make much more sense when paired with the lengthy blog posts on the front page, but they also stand on their own. I’ve personally witnessed my very own girlfriend–who, aside from the occasional game of Mario Kart is not much of gamer–take a PA book of of my shelf, flip through it, and be smiling the entire time. Now that’s universal.
There are many places you can go to read comic reviews, but nowhere quite like Chris’ Invincible SUper Blog. Each week Chris takes a stack of comics, and gives them each a few paragraphs, in what amounts to some of the most epic blog posts I have ever read. But they’re funny. And that’s what keeps me coming back and reading. Chris has a love for all things “awesome” and it shows in his writing, which is just as awesome as the work he praises. And as an added bonus, he has the uncanny ability to find hilarious, random old comic panels that will make you LOL at their absurdity.
This gaming web portal takes some of the best aspects of Xbox Live–extensive community features and, of course, achievments–and applies them to free Flash games. Kongregate also helps eliminate one of the major problems with similar sites with its user rating system, which makes weeding out the gems from the junk much easier. But, if you plan on ever doing work again, I urge you not to start a game of Desktop Tower Defense 1.5. Seriously.
Think of it as an NPR talk radio show about comics. Host Lene Taylor takes an in-depth, intellectual look at the medium we love, and creates a soothing experience with the addition of relaxing instrumental music breaks. It’s a high-brow look at what is sinfully viewed as low art.
(0 votes, average: 0 out of 5, rated) Buying stuff is hard. We all have a limited amount of money, but a seemingly infinite amount of things to spend it on.So while I normally spend my time here creating wacky lists of the best super-hero costumes, or interviewing crime fighters about their personal lives, today I’d like to do something different. Over the past few weeks I’ve been absolutely flooded with books, games, and movies that are full of awesome, and I’d like to share a few of the best with you all in order to help steer your future purchasing decisions in the right direction.
Hellboy Vol.8: Darkness Calls
Ok, this one came out a while ago, May to be exact, but it should still be checked out by all. This collected volume finds Hellboy finally returning from his long oceanic journey, only to be dragged away by a group of vicious witches, who deliver him into the clutches of the vengeful Baba Yaga. The stories in this book draw heavily from Russian folklore, and prove that Mike Mignola did the right thing when he decided to focus solely on writing the Hellboy books from now on.
Penny Arcade Vol.5: The Case of the Mummy’s Gold
We here at Shox love Penny Arcade, so when a new PA book comes out it is definitely a time to celebrate. This fifth volume collects all of the strips posted by the dynamic duo in 2004, and puts them in an easy-to-read book form. In addition to the aforementioned comics, the collection also features a number of hilarious, if odd bonus pages, as well as a wonderful introduction by the king of the nerds, Wil Wheaton.
Etrian Odyssey II: Heroes of Lagaard
Fans of long, time-consuming, and complicated old-school flavored role-playing games are in for a treat with this game. The second Etrian Odyssey builds on the foundation laid by its predecessor–which included a terrifying difficulty level, classic first-person perspective, and even the ability to draw your own maps–by adding new classes, abilities, and levels to challenge gamers. There is even a treat for those select, brave few who were able to complete the first game. Sadly, I am not yet among them.
Final Fantasy Tactics A2: Grimoire of the Rift
If you’re looking for a different kind of addicting RPG, look no further then FFTA2. A strategy game with role-playing elements, this game allows players to build up a dream team of warriors by featuring an incredibly deep class system, which allows for a great deal of customization. These clans of warriors can then be used in epic, turn-based strategic battles, where they will fight against all kinds of dangerous monsters. Veteran players looking for an even greater challenge can check out the new hard difficulty, which will tax your mind as well as your thumbs.
The Machine Girl
Ah, Japanese horror, how I love thee. The Machine Girl follows the Tokyo Shock tradition of over the top, anime-like violence, but adds its own unique twist. The titular machine girl has a heavy duty machine gun strapped where her left arm once was, and has to use it to get revenge on the Yakuza clan that killed her family. Unfortunately for her (but fortunately for us), her enemies use equally unique and deadly weapons, including a flying guillotine and a drill bra. Yes, a drill bra.
(0 votes, average: 0 out of 5, rated) Any self-respecting comic book fan also loves animation, an anyone who loves animation knows the genius that is Pixar. Thus, if you are reading this, chances are pretty good that you are as excited as I am for this friday, which will see the theatrical release of Wall-E. The film has a lot going for it, but if, for some odd reason, you don’t want to see it, I’m here to tell you why you should in my typical list format.
Ben Burtt - One of the more unique aspects of Wall-E is that it will have very little dialogue. In fact, the main character doesn’t speak at all. Normally, this would make me more then a little worried. And I was, until I learned who was doing the sound design for the movie: Ben Burtt. Now you may be asking yourself, who is this? Well, Burtt is a legendary sound designer who has created some of the most recognizable sound effects in the history of cinema. Every time you make a ‘thrum’ noise, pretending to swing a lightsaber, Burtt made that. That heavy breathing sound you make when doing your Darth Vader impression, also Burtt. And, the most important part in regards to Wall-E, he was the man responsible for all those beeps and bloops that made R2-D2 such an endearing character. And while it took a total of 800 different sounds to bring R2 to life, Wall-E will use more than 2, 500. Sounds good to me.
The Tone - We all love sci-fi, and what’s great about Wall-E is that it is a fresh take on the genre. As a story about the last robot on Earth who falls in love with a satellite, the tone of Wall-E is decidedly whimsical. But, as it is also a CG animated Pixar movie, it will also look all kinds of awesome. So, really, you get the best of both worlds. A light-hearted cartoon with a healthy dose of sci-fi awesomeness.
It’s Pixar! - Come on now. Finding Nemo. Monsters Inc. The Incredibles. Toy Story. When has Pixar ever let you down? Ok, there was Cars, but even that was ok. Aside from that little snag, the good folks at Pixar have always pulled through, and, from I’ve seen, Wall-E looks to be up with their best. Besides, any film that can be described as ‘R2 D2 the movie’ by its director is all right with me. So go watch it all ready!
(0 votes, average: 0 out of 5, rated) Technology moves at an amazing pace. During my relatively short time on this planet, I’ve seen it firsthand. From space travel to medicine to high-definition movies, it’s all pretty astounding. But as comics and movies have shown us, we still have a long way to go. Super powered beings also happen to have some super powered imaginations, and this has resulted in some of the coolest and craziest inventions of all time. Below is a list of just a few of my favorites. Scientists and inventors take notes, and get this stuff made already.
UV Grenade - Everyone knows that killing vampires is no easy task. They are strong, fast, quiet, and impervious to most human weapons. Of course they have a few weaknesses, like garlic, silver, a stake through the heart, and sunlight. But what do you do when a new, super-powered strain of vampires starts terrorizing the planet and they are immune to everything except sunlight? Well, the answer is quite simple. In Blade II, the titular hero’s mentor Whistler was able to create a grenade that when detonated, creates a giant flash of ultra violet light. This weapon turns out to be the perfect tool for warding off the Reaper infestation.
The Weapons of The Machine Girl - Japanese horror/action movie The Machine Girl starts out simple enough. In order to avenge the death of her family at the hands of the Yakuza, a young girl replaces her missing left arm with a giant machine gun and goes on a murderous rampage. But gun-arms are way to common to make this list. What puts The Machine Girl up there with the best are two of the greatest weapons ever devised: the flying guillotine and drill bra. Both are exactly what there names imply. The flying guillotine is able to remove human heads with the added bonus of portability, while the drill bra brutally punishes those who try and get too close of a look.
Adamantium - every time I break one of my Hatori Hanzo swords, I wish that adamantium was real. The fictional metal is essentially unbreakable, making it perfect for coating your skeleton or developing a set of killer claws. It’s most well known for doing just that to everyone’s favortie X-Man, Wolverine. Plus, for would be samurai’s, it could save a lot of money otherwise used on shattered swords.
Andrew Webster is a freelance writer based in Toronto who coverscomics, movies, videogames, and anything else that will rot outyour brain. Check out his personal site to read more of his incoherent ramblings.
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